Gordon Ramsay’s vocabulary

It is clear that I am hardly the only viewer of the fifty or so programs on television featuring Gordon Ramsay who has observed that the chef/host/author/Malibu homeowner rather fancies the word “stunning.” He refers to stunning cakes and pies; stunning soups and sauces; stunning steaks and chops; stunning shellfish; stunning lamb’s tongues; stunning rice, barley and lentils; stunning pots, pans and cutlery; stunning whisking technique; stunning judging (by his Master Chef co-hosts); stunning bed linens (in the Hell’s Kitchen dormitory); and stunning negotiating (by his agents at CAA).

On an episode of Kitchen Nightmares he tried adapting the word into an adverb – “This prune whip is bad…stunningly bad” – but you could tell it didn’t fall very trippingly off his tongue. That was a one-off and, one hopes, taught him to stick with what he’s good at.

One time I heard him say, “Here I am in a stunning jet helicopter – that I could, by the way, buy if I wanted to – circling stunning downtown Los Angeles. The view is simply stunning.”

Mr. Ramsay’s limited vocabulary annoys more people than just me. I have signed the Change.org petition intended to stop the madness and I encourage my readers to do the same.

It is easy to complain but my criticism is of the constructive sort. I have compiled a list of words and phrases that Mr. Ramsay can easily merge with his current limited roster of descriptors. Here is that list, along with suggested applications:

  1. “I want you to make for me a saliva-generating key lime pie.”
  2. “For your next challenge you will recreate this quite attractive cheese enchilada.”
  3. “Now that is a strikingly beautiful plate of veal brains!”
  4. “You and your teammates will prepare an astonishing haggis.”
  5. “If you don’t shape up over there on garde manger I’m going to deliver a forceful blow to your head with a rolling pin.”
  6. “As winners of the Lightning Round you will all fly on a stupefying private jet to go jet-skiing on jaw-dropping Lake Mead.”

With just a little study time, Gordon Ramsay can surely improve his vocabulary and I am here to help however I can.