Don’t do this

In the spirit of public service I offer the following suggestions for things you should not do in certain situations.

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHILE NUDE
Fry chicken
Go on a job interview
Skydive
Be sworn in to an elected office
Take communion
Weld

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO IN THE DARK
Iron shirts
Build a Taj Mahal out of sugar cubes
Operate a bulldozer
Pick your feet in Poughkeepsie
Trim the claws of lions or other large cats
Shoot skeet

These lists are far from complete but they’ll give you a good start.

(Note: If I had known Frank Sinatra in 1968 I would have suggested to him that wearing a Nehru jacket and love beads on national television were things he should not do. But I did not know Frank Sinatra then.)

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